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Friday, October 22, 2010

Personal update on my S.T.A.N.D.


S.T.A.N.D. Start Today A New Direction

I’m going to answer the many personal questions all at once – here, today.

I am very satisfied with the results of my effort so far. People are re-posting, tweeting and starting conversations with the educational prompts I have provided. Knowledge spread is a good thing. People are making contribution to TheTrevorProject.org I’m lettering gift original posters and mailing them out every day.

It’s impacted my behavior everywhere I go. Dawn to Dusk. I am swinging the pendulum very far the other side of bullying: I am a kinder driver, more gracious in the grocery store and a better patron at every establishment. It’s upped my consciousness about how little things make such a big difference.

I’ve seen bullying and have been bullied. My response is far more thoughtful, thorough and intentional than it ever would have been prior to S.T.A.N.D. (Start Today A New Direction). I offered comfort to the person I saw bullied. And I responded with 110% love when I was bullied and diffused an otherwise volatile situation.

I get cold and I haven’t had a single hot flash since I shaved my head.
Hats don’t fit as well as they did. And yesterday, in a wind storm I impulsively reached to keep my bangs out of my eyes and laughed right out loud when I realized I had no hair to get in my eyes.

Shawn, owner, of THE COLOR BOX salon here in Freeland, is tending the health of my scalp every week, for free. He was bullied as a child and is very much a part of the STAND I am taking. He told me his own story of “It gets better” and it made me cry. My friend, Grady, lends a voice of experience to this whole matter: there will always be bullies. But after high school they aren’t concentrated in one central place and you get your voice. You learn how to recognize that they matter less than they used to. You learn appropriate ways to respond.

Mid week, my husband has been shaving my head. And each time I become quite sick to my stomach. I commented to a friend about this. I wondered aloud if it was as my energy-worker friend, Llynya, informed me that hair holds a lot of body memory and that I should expect some emotional impact from the process. She wrote this morning this:

ps, I'm reading a new reflexology book called, "The New Reflexology"
[redundant] by Inge Dougans. I just read this morning over coffee and blueberry pancakes from the café that there are 2 sources of Chi - prenatal jing/essence stored in the kidneys and environmental, which enters the body through the top of the head, skin and eyes. You may be right about the shaving disturbing the energy. I was thinking that maybe that's why in some cultures it's taboo to touch a child on the top of the head. I really don't like to be touched or tapped on the top of the head either, but I always thought it was because of (some abuse she experienced as a child which involved being hauled around by her hair…my summary). I love how life just keeps adding to what we know and are.

I was bullied as a child by peers and by adults. I have the scars on my bare skull that demonstrate the many places where my head was cracked open. I have followed the impulse throughout my life to stand up for others who were being bullied. And now, in this process, I am facing, at a deeper level than I might have anticipated, how bullying has impacted me at a cellular level. At the same time that I am STANDing up and speaking up for others, I recognize that I am learning a new direction for myself. Start Today A New Direction, then, is first
an instruction I deliver to my own soul. And in offering that direction to myself – I hope that I can inspire you toward a more thoughtful journey in being a voice for those who are, in the moment, trying to find theirs.

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